You must leave and cleave to succeed in marriage

    Married couple
    Married couple

    By Olawale Ogunsola  

    One plus one of God, as far as marriage is concerned, is equal to one. This can be compared to taking a teaspoonful of a sachet of salt and adding it to a tea cup of water from a big jar. The combination is neither salt nor water, but a solution. This is what marriage is planned by the Initiator, God, to be. In few cases today, it remains so.

    For a marriage to work the way the Lord designed it, there is no other short cut than for every individual in it to observe the two mandatory principles involved. You are not wrong to call it the law of God for marriage. God’s own designed marriage involves each person from the opposite sex, that is made and female. Any other arrangement is from the kingdom of hell!

    What then are the two principles of God for a successful marriage?

    1. The first step toward having a successful home is to leave. What are the things to leave? For a female, she must leave her

    (a) land, (b) country (c) family (d) father’s house (e) old friends (f) old ways of living (g)god.

     Ruth gives every woman a pattern – she said to her mother-in-law:

         “Entreat me not to leave you,

          Or to turn back from following after you,

          For wherever you go, I will go,

          And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;

          Your people shall be my people,

          And your God, my God,

          Where you die, I will die,

          And there will I be buried.

          The Lord do so to me, and more also,

          If  anything but death parts you and me.”  Ruth 1:6. (New King James Version, NKJV).

         These words also corroborate the words of the Psalmist of Israel that counsels,

         “Listen, O daughter,

            consider and incline your ear,

         Forget your own people also, and

            your father’s house,

         So, the King will greatly desire your


         Because He is your Lord,

            Worship Him,”   Psalm 45:10-11.

    Let me not fail to emphasize the importance of leaving former “god”. Ruth did not fail to abandon all gods in Moab to follow the God of Israel. Inability of Rachel to forget the “gods” of her father’s house was her undoing, the heartthrob of Jacob lost out because she did not live to see the greatness of her two children – Joseph and Benjamin. She did not recognize the God of Jacob because she stole the “idols” of her father. Details are contained in Genesis chapter thirty one in verses thirty-four to thirty-five:

         For a male, leaving is a commandment from the Lord that must be obeyed. The Holy Bible discloses,

         “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother

          And be joined to his wife, and they shall became one flesh.”

         Genesis 2:24   NKJV.

         Do you know that these words becomes evident in the words of Adam when Eve was made? He said,

         “This is now (on the day of marriage) bone of my bones

          And flesh of my flesh,

          She shall be called Woman

          Because she is taken out of man.”   Genesis 2:23

     As a man, is it possible to dismember parts of your body? Do you want your bones to be dislocated? Which part of your flesh do you want separated? It is possible to do either of these (God forbid) but it brings unbearable pains and discomfort.

     A man must leave his father and mother to be joined to his wife.

    1. This is the ultimate goal of marriage. After leaving comes cleaving. Leaving without cleaving gives birth to loneliness which marriage was meant to crush. Loneliness is worse than cancer or AIDS. Fussing must come after leaving. this is not wrong, I think, that cleaving can be seen as loss of independence. The words of Apostle Paul for couples makes this clear:

     “The wife does not have authority over her own body,

             but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not

             have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”1Corinthians 7:4.

    Cleaving is unity. Unity assures standing. Cleaving is oneness. It changes a spouse’s words from ‘I, my, me, mine.’ to ‘we, our, us, ours’. The words of Ruth is worth repeating here,

         “Entreat me not to leave you,

          Or to turn back from following after you,

          For wherever you go, I will go,

          And whenever you lodge, I will lodge;

          Your people shall be my people,

          And your God, my God,

          Where you die, I will die,

          And there will I be buried.

          The Lord do so to me, and more also,

          If anything but death parts you and me.”  Ruth 1:6.  NKJV.

    Let me reiterate it here that cleaving is a spiritual issue. Malachi 2:14-15 confirms,

         “…Because the Lord has been witness

          Between you and the wife of your


          Yet she is your companion

          And your wife by convenant.

          But did He not make them one,

          Having a remnant of the Spirit?

          And why one?

          He seeks godly offspring.

          Therefore take heed to your spirit

          And let none deal treacherously

             with the wife of his youth.”   NKJV.

    Cleaving is oneness of the Spirit. That is the reason Ruth’s statement “your God, my God” was the peak of her decision. This is in contrast to Rachel’s decision. She was never joined in the spirit with her husband. She loved the man but hated his God. She demonstrated this by stealing her father’s household idols and she protected them that her husband was not aware of her evil act.

         Apostle Paul does not leave us in the dark when he emphasizes the Spiritual importance of “joining” or cleaving. He reveals,

         “Or do you know that he who is joined to a harlot is one

           body with her? For “the two,” (in marriage), he says, “shall  

          become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one

          Spirit with Him.”    1Cor 6 : 16-17.

    This is the reason God, the initiator of marriage, must be involved in your marriage. This translates that the husband and the wife must be joined with the Lord. He should be in the beginning, middle and end of their marriage. One of the reasons is that “He seeks godly offering(s) from the couple. If you do not want to disappoint your Creator and you want the end of your life to be pleasing to God, leave and cleave to your God as well as your spouse. Love the Lord with everything you have as a human being. Then love yourself. Demonstrate the love that you have towards God and yourself by loving your neighbors. Therefore, to have a successful marriage, be ready to leave and cleave.

    Stay blessed and be prepared because the Lord is coming soon.

    NOTE – NKJV means New King James Version of the Holy Bible.

    Olawale Ogunsola  is the Founder of CTFM(WORLD OUTREACH)and Presiding Pastor of Christ Restland Gospel Church.He is a Poet and author of many books. Visit his blogsites www.4thlink.wordpress.com for more quality content. 

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