By Marie Bunger
Disabling anxiety and depression
How often do you ask your self out loud or quietly to your self ‘What’s wrong with me?
When we look beneath the surface of anxiety and depression, we will find what drives them. What if the belief we carry along the lines of There must be something wrong and the not good enough syndrome are the roots of anxiety and depression? What would happen if we disabled those roots?
What’s wrong with me?
How many times have you asked yourself, quietly or out loud What’s wrong with me? Have other people ever said to you, What’s wrong with you?, after you have failed to do something or live up to their expectations? How often have you uttered to your self What did I do wrong, or where did I go wrong?
What you believe is what you will see
The source of these questions come from the beliefs you hold about your self, There must be something wrong with me, or I must have done something wrong. The question is how long have these been running your life? These beliefs could come from some event, or something said to you a long time ago. They don’t necessarily have to stem from a traumatic event (although they could).They could simply derive from something which today seems insignificant, but at the time could have made you question your self enough to create an element of doubt. If not nipped in the bud this doubt will grow into a belief, there must be something wrong with me. This may not be true but in time those beliefs will become true for you. Once the beliefs take root they have the ability to run your life and at times disable you.
We can end up going around and around in circles as we can’t find the confidence to make a decision, or make a choice between this or that, because we are afraid of being wrong or being wronged. Either we are afraid of making a decision based on the unknown, or we are afraid of making the same mistake, based on past decisions that didn’t work out. And often when we attempt to or even if we do take action, we end up seeing our worst fears of being wrong or wronged coming true, either in our mind or in reality. Either way they cause havoc. How can they not when your energy is running on such low quality beliefs that make you wrong or wronged, no matter what you do or don’t do.
The clues are in your self talk
You may or not be aware of those beliefs on a conscious level but your self-talk will tell you a lot if you listen. The symptoms of what we call anxiety can be different for each person: They can range from confusion, non-comprehension, nervousness, irritability, anger, sadness, crying. You might feel sensations in the body, usually in the abdomen as nervousness, and at times to the extent of feeling sick. When we are unable to control these feelings, panic attacks can follow.
Often the disappointment of ‘failing’ to do what you want to do again leads you back to the question What’s wrong with me?, and this alone can lead us onto a downward slide into depression. We often try many ways to escape those painful feelings and thoughts;. We can try to run away, smother them with food, drink, drugs, exercise and any thing else we can think of to ease the pain. The more we depress or suppress these emotions the further we will slide into depressed state of mind, where we can’t feel anything – we call this depression.
The Diagnosis and the label
The doctors will confirm that there is something wrong with us. The diagnosis and label alone can create more fear and can confirm and anchor the belief that There is something wrong with me. Or, putting a name to the way we feel can finally bring some relief. It is a starting point as we go through the process of finding the right medication for that something wrong with us. And that’s perfect.
However, here’s the challenge. What if we applied a mental mental process of pulling those beliefs of There must be something wrong with me out by the roots? What would happen to the illness? What comes first the belief or the illness? Mmmmm something to think about!
What’s wrong with me, walks hand in hand with the belief I’m not good enough. Think about it! When we don’t feel good enough or we don’t measure up, make the cut, or we are rejected, don’t we ask that same old question What’s wrong with me? Am I not tall enough, short enough, intelligent enough, fast enough, pretty enough? – and on and on.
The Not Good Enough Syndrome
This stems from the idea that we are not enough (as we are) and therefore we have to keep adding things to our lives and lifestyle to make us feel better about our self. The need to prove to our self and others we are good enough becomes all important. We add degrees, relationships, money, material possessions, awards, trophies to feel good enough. Being an owner of something makes us feel better.
And all of this is perfect unless they become the substance or our feeling good enough. The question is: What happens if you lose all of this, will you still feel good enough? If you have a belief running of I’m not enough then that belief will remain true for you unless you change it. No matter what you achieve on the outside, chances are you will never feel enough, and nothing will ever be enough for you. The clue here for me was my constant querying ‘What more do I have to do? This Not Good Enough Syndrome leads to symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression, addictions, and other self inflicted illnesses.
Treating the Roots
Once again instead of treating the symptoms we need to stop feeding the roots of not enough and feed those Good and Godly enough roots so we can feast on the fruits of wellness.
What you focus on grows
Instead of looking for what is wrong with us, we look to find all that’s right. This means focusing on all the inner natural good and Godliness that makes up our wholesome self. This aspect of our self is real and what is real never changes and is always present. However this can be suppressed by those man-made beliefs we hold about our self and God (or whatever name you want to give that invisible spiritual energy that makes up our holistic and wholesome self).
Balancing the mind and body with the spirit
What if the imbalance we find with depression and anxiety stems from the denial of spirit from the mind-body-spirit system. Doesn’t this show us that illness is not the presence of something but the absence of something? As we leave spirit out of the equation for wellness, we disable our self. If we don’t include Faith in our recovery program we will be doing our self an injustice. When we recover the inner spiritual aspect of Faith, we stand to recover wellness on all levels. When we talk about Faith remember it doesn’t belong to any one religion or philosophy. Faith belongs to everyone as a natural aspect of your holistic mind, body and spirit system. For me, Faith is our highest sense of Self and Self Belief.
Raising Real Self Belief
When you reconnect with Faith, we are able to operate from the heart and soul of our real sense of self. Our role in life then becomes one of expressing one-self in away that is unique and right for each and every one of us. If then, by any chance we lose our accumulated possessions, job or relationship, me may experience an array of emotions, but the foundations of who we are is enough to sustain us. WE may lose our balance and sway, we won’t fall and crumble.
Often the idea of spirit or faith being a natural solution for our holistic healing is enough to turn people away. The fearful resistance stems from the names we use, the meanings we give it, and the beliefs we hold on to. And for non-religious people the word God alone can send them heading into a state of anxiety.
I can vouch for the fact that trying to find the right name and the right way to understand and accept this invisible life-force, challenged me to the hilt. I have explored spirituality and Christianity (oh what a journey!) and it was in giving up seeking that I found what I was looking for right here, right under my nose, right inside – My good enough and my Godly enough truest sense of Self and real Self Belief.
Find a way that is right for you
I discovered that there is no right or wrong way to recover and apply this precious solution, only a way that is right for you. It’s of no matter what name people use, because it is of no matter. All that really matters is that we do call upon this inner sense of Self and Self Healing, and allow it to be the driver behind disabling anxiety and depression and other fear driven illnesses.
Be free now.
Marie Brunger is an accomplished writer and author and an inspirational speaker and healer. Her latest book “I AM a Spiritual Approach to Mental Health is a result of a decision she made over 20 years ago to heal her life and to help others to do the same. Marie has supported thousands of people through their personal and life threatening challenges to find the freedom to choose who they want in the drivers’ seat of their life – Love or fear – https://www.mariebrunger.com.