The Word of God reminds us to be vigilant in our conduct, advising us to “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is” (Ephesians 5:15-17).
Life presents us with many mysteries and challenges including handling difficult people. We should continually strive for personal growth and development. In today’s globalized world, where time is a precious commodity, those who continuously seek self-improvement are better equipped to navigate its demands and succeed.
In a world filled with competition and individuals seeking to undermine others, self-improvement becomes crucial. By enhancing our skills, character, and resilience, we become better equipped to face challenges and resist the traps set by those who seek to harm us. These individuals, akin to viruses, aim to infect and weaken their victims, leaving behind scars that may be difficult to heal. Thus, it is essential to approach them with caution and discernment, safeguarding ourselves from their harmful influences.
The crimes of the tongue encompass a myriad of unkind words, including anger, malice, envy, bitterness, harsh criticism, gossip, lies, and scandal.
According to William George Jordan, while theft and murder are undeniably heinous crimes, the collective sorrow they inflict upon a nation in any given year pales in comparison to the immense pain caused by the crimes of the tongue. Unlike the direct impact of theft or murder, the careless words of friends or the envious tongues of others can inflict suffering upon us all.
Jordan emphasizes that no individual, no matter how true, fair, or pure their life, is immune from the malevolent intentions or poisonous envy of others. The subtle attacks on one’s reputation, the insidious innuendos, and malicious slurs launched by jealous mediocrity can undermine even the strongest among us, much like insidious parasites that sap the life from a mighty oak.
The covert nature of these attacks makes them difficult to guard against, as they are akin to dodging microbes rather than elephants. So, how can we shield ourselves from their harmful effects?
Here are some strategies and tips to consider, dear readers, to fortify yourselves against these toxic individuals. May these words serve as shields and weapons to protect and guide you in your daily lives, leading you closer to God:
- Cultivate your character, for it is your most potent defense against the evil tongues of your adversaries. Let your character serve as a shield to safeguard your reputation.
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Foster an open-minded attitude. Take the time to listen and understand their perspective before concluding. If you find their words lacking sense, inquire gently: “Do you believe criticism is what I need right now?”
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Exercise control over your words and emotions. Silence can wield great power, causing discomfort and unease in your opponent. Practice restraint and observation, for silence often speaks volumes.
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Shield yourself from negative influences. Refuse to entertain toxic individuals who seek to malign you in secret. By rejecting their words, you deflect their intended harm back onto them.
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Refrain from criticizing others, as doing so only diminishes your stature. Remember, wounds inflicted by words cut deeper than those from physical weapons, as they affect the spirit. Approach interactions with patience and empathy, recognizing the emotional complexity of human nature.
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Express kindness and compassion towards those who oppose you. Transforming an adversary through kindness is a noble endeavor, far more impactful than defeating them outright.
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Cultivate humility as a guiding principle. While we cannot control the tongues of others, leading a virtuous life enables us to rise above their slander and gossip.
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Anticipate the presence of detractors. In my 26 years on this earth, I’ve learned that no one is immune to gossip and slander. Instead of engaging with rumors, maintain a humble and innocent demeanor, allowing your actions to speak for themselves. For those who delight in sowing discord, let them reap the consequences, as divine justice prevails.
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Acknowledge and address your weaknesses proactively. Every individual possesses strengths and weaknesses. Take the initiative to identify and overcome your shortcomings daily. By committing to self-improvement, you assert control over your destiny and become the master of your own fate.
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Continue to pray and place your trust in God, for while all things may seem impossible with men, nothing is beyond the realm of possibility with Him. Remember these words: “When you are at your weakest, God is at His strongest.” So, cast aside worry and embrace happiness, for if you believe you can, you will.
For those who delight in spreading discord, consider the following:
The teachings of Jesus Christ emphasize the significance of our words. In Matthew 12:36-37, He warns that we will be held accountable for every careless word spoken, as our words can either justify or condemn us.
Similarly, James, a disciple of Jesus, emphasizes the importance of controlling one’s tongue. He asserts that true religion requires discipline over our speech; otherwise, our faith is rendered meaningless.
Remember, dear readers, life is fleeting, and no one can predict when it will end. Now is the only moment we possess. Live fully, love deeply, and work diligently, for tomorrow is uncertain.
Many pass through life without leaving a positive impact. They fade into obscurity, having contributed little good to the world. Will you merely exist, or will you strive to make a difference?
Understand that life is transient, like a vapor that vanishes quickly. Therefore, use your time to uplift and inspire others.
Instead of speaking words of hurt or criticism, choose to offer words of kindness and encouragement. Pray for the strength to embody these virtues, seeking to emulate the prayer:
“Dear Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. Help me to refrain from idle gossip and instead spread words of kindness and understanding.”
Before I’ll conclude, I would like to leave a special message for you, dear readers.
If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.
But:
If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.
If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.
If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.
If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.
If you plant greed, you will reap loss.
If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.
If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.
If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.
So be careful what you plant now, it will determine what you will reap tomorrow.
I wish you many blessings to come and God Bless!
Moises P. Reconalla is the School Guidance Counselor, College Instructor, and Working student supervisor at North Davao College, Panabo City, Philippines. He has taught several courses at the college including Guidance and Counseling, General Psychology, Philippine History: Roots and Development, General Anthropology and Sociology, and Dr. Jose Rizal: Life, Works & Writings.Â
