A while ago, I saw a TikTok post where out of curiosity a lady asked men a question. She wanted to know where or to whom men run to when they need help. Her question was simple but the responses that followed gave a general cause for concern for men at large.
About 12 men answered the question and the predominant answer was “I go to no one for help because I’m a man.” The second best answer was “No one will help me because I’m a man.” As a man, I was beyond startled. How is it that many men function on this earth but have no one to turn to? How?
This made me realize how privileged and blessed I have been all my life. Indeed, having people I can always reach out to during certain things I was passing through was something I took for granted. I never took into consideration this wasn’t the same for a lot of men. What was I even thinking? This triggered some questions in my mind, especially the nagging question: “Why do we have men who never share their problems with others?”
As I thought of possible answers to the question above, it dawned on me that this sad culture of silence in men has clear ramifications. It has to be why men generally have a higher number when the conversation is about stress, depression, and suicide.
After brainstorming for a while, I came to the conclusion that society knowingly and unknowingly placed a stigma on men who show any need for help. We have created a very dangerous meaning to what it means to be a man or be manly.
Men naturally want to be able to hold their own and most never want to seem “needy” or “weak.” Society has somehow perceived and associated men showing vulnerability as a sign of neediness and weakness. This is why many men prefer to suffer in silence. Can you imagine the mental health status of most men around us?
There is a damaging stigma around asking for help with mental health issues, yet ignoring the problem is likely to make it worse. In reality, opening up and asking for help can be one of the strongest things a man can do.
As we encourage men to form a closer relationship with God, because in Him all people find peace and strength, we must also do the needful. We should encourage men to speak up and also take time to identify things causing them stress or pain.
Men shouldn’t feel ashamed to speak about their problems with their friends or family. Seeking medical attention for mental health issues shouldn’t be an act that society stigmatizes. It should be encouraged. We should all try to lend listening ears to the men in our lives when they try to talk and keep encouraging them to open up.
As we pray today that God heals everyone who is troubled in the mind, every man should know they are the apple of God’s eye and especially loved. There are more people who’ll rather hear you talk than those who’ll want to sign a condolence register for a funeral.
Start talking today.
Ogo Adelakun writes on diverse subjects related to everyday living.
