Browsing: suicide

Thank You Lord, for being our might and the beginning of our strength, the excellency of our dignity, and the excellency of our power in 2020.

If it were in your power to abolish pain, would you do it? Repeatedly I’ve contemplated this question. Life is hard. You turn the key then close the door behind you, drop your bags on the floor. You reach for the light, but there’s darkness deep inside and you can’t take it anymore. ‘Cause sometimes living takes the life out of you and sometimes living is all you can do. Life is hard; the world is cold.

My father committed suicide with an overdose of prescription medicine taken in conjunction with alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant that exacerbates suicidal tendencies in those who are prone to such self-destructive acts. I was 16 years old at the time. I was wrongly ashamed of my father’s suicide for most of my life. In fact, that feeling of shame is one of the great regrets of my life. With the combination of drugs and alcohol my dad might not have even intended to take his life.

It is a devastating experience when a loved one commits suicide. Dealing with the death of one close to you is difficult but the thought that this person has chosen to end their own life has its own grief pathway and in many ways is more difficult to resolve. It involves dealing with negative self characterizations such as the thought that there is something wrong with my family. Suicide also affects the entire family and each person’s has his/her unique experience with it.