What do modern single Christian men seek in women? What qualities make these men tick? What is their ideal wife checklist? These questions often leave women pondering in various ways.
As a single Christian man, enlightenment came to me a bit late in my bachelor days. At age 36, I was still single. When I learned that my younger brother, six years my junior, had just welcomed his first child, life’s harsh realities hit me. I realized I wasn’t getting any younger. My old friends and contemporaries were busy with their own lives, leaving little room for the fun we once had. Time truly flies. It dawned on me that I had to set my priorities straight; otherwise, I might miss the boat.
A Christian aunt advised me to start looking for the right person to be my lifetime partner, or else I’d end up spending my Valentines, Christmases, New Years, and other holidays alone, with a white, grown beard. So, one day, I announced to my parents, relatives, and friends what single Christian men say when a change of heart occurs: “My bachelor days are nearing the end” and “The conquests of Genghis Khan or Christopher Columbus will soon be over.” I was now on the lookout for that “perfect someone.” Naturally, excitement ensued, and verbal applications, both solicited and unsolicited, began pouring in from relatives and friends.
At long last, I was ready to tie the knot. But with whom? I never imagined myself in this situation, and I suspect many single Christian men have faced the same dilemma. I knew I needed a strategy. My Christian aunt told me that life is full of twists and turns and that I had to be ready when that special someone crossed my path. She taught me to “fall in love intelligently” and to make a list of all the qualities I wanted in the woman I would marry and live with for the rest of my life. She advised me to prioritize these qualities. She mentioned that while I might not find someone who possesses all the qualities, the more checks she had, the better my chances of being happy. Out of this good, old-fashioned advice and wisdom, I made a list.
Here’s my list, with some explanation:
Loyal, Sincere, and Honest
This is the foundation of a successful marriage and relationship. From these qualities stem other good traits that strengthen the bond of love and marriage that evolve into mature and lasting relationships. These qualities top my list because, like clear skies, I didn’t want lies, betrayal, hurt feelings, and eventually, a ruined marriage and a broken home affecting our innocent children.
Patient, Understanding, and Forgiving
Loving someone means accepting them as they are, with all their inadequacies and limitations. I want someone who will stand by me whether I succeed or fail in our life endeavors—a true test of genuine love. With good advice and kind words, I believe all good single Christian men and women heed their mate’s counsel.
Healthy and Physically Fit
Seeing relatives and friends who entered relationships without considering this aspect and later found themselves in deep emotional and financial turmoil has taught me its importance. Bad health sometimes ends a marriage that could have lasted longer. Good health and fitness matter.
Family Acceptance
Holding one’s family in high regard can influence the choice of a lifetime partner, as mingling and socializing with loved ones is unavoidable. Therefore, it’s natural to pick someone from a similar educational and family background, the same level of education, and traditional family values. Someone I would respect, be proud of, and introduce to my family and friends as the mother of my children. Loving someone who is not accepted by your family or loved ones, especially in a close-knit family, can be painful because it’s challenging to live in two separate worlds that cannot merge and be enjoyed simultaneously.
Same Religious Beliefs
This was a major factor for me, but I understand it can be relative. While it might not be mandatory for everyone, the true Christian spirit lies within our hearts and minds. Whether someone is Catholic, Protestant, Buddhist, Muslim, or Born Again, as long as “Christ or Love” reigns within them, it works. Love knows no boundaries; it is dynamic and sometimes adventurous.
Good Marriage Outlook
A strong commitment to raising a family, knowing that sacrifice and devotion are key to the happiness and success of loved ones, is crucial. This includes being gainfully employed or having the ability to contribute to the financial support of the family’s current and future needs.
Sexual Compatibility and Physical Appearance
Physical chemistry adds spice to the relationship. You want to be with and sleep with someone you’re attracted to physically. There has to be a spark that excites and ignites the relationship. Smelling good, clean, and organized adds to one’s attractiveness and creates an aura of enchantment. Romance, intimacy, and eventually sex are preludes to sharing one’s total being—mind, body, and soul—with your spouse, best friend, and lover.
Healthy Attitude in Life
Enthusiastic about life, a positive thinker, practical, flexible, helpful, down-to-earth, a good conversationalist with a sense of humor, and fun to be with. Someone I won’t get bored or tired of listening to and talking with and can live with for the rest of my life.
Goal or Career-Oriented
It excites men to meet women who are focused, determined, and have their aspirations. This shows their determination and firmness in life’s expectations. Gone are the days when only one breadwinner supported the whole household, as the cost of living has risen worldwide. Amidst life’s trials and hardships, having a strong, determined character and personality is what counts the most.
Free of Vices and Worldly Attachments
Understanding that our body is the Temple of God and respecting, caring for, and nourishing it is vital. Smoking, drinking, taking drugs, gambling, and other earthly desires that corrupt the soul degrade both spirit and flesh. Vices and earthly desires often cause pain and suffering in our lives.
Sure enough, after thirty years of marriage, I can truly say my checklist worked! We are happy and satisfied with what we have achieved as husband and wife and as parents. Our children have turned out to be the best of us—good single Christian man and woman who continue to practice their Christian values and pass down love, wisdom, guidance, and support to their children and grandchildren.
So, be cautious, arm yourself with the power of discernment and the test of time. The world is full of treachery but also truth and goodness. To all eligible single Christian men and women searching for that “special someone,” why not make your checklist now so you’ll be ready when the time comes.
By Charles Parse
