Diary of a Single Christian Man – My Checklist for My Future Wife

    Single man
    Single man

    By Charles Parles

    [dropcap]W[/dropcap]hat qualities are modern single Christian men looking for in women or what do modern single Christian men like in women? What make these single Christian men tick? These thoughts I’m sure have women thinking in so many different ways.

    As a single Christian man, enlightenment came a little late to me in my bachelor days and at age 36 I was still single. When I found out that my kid brother, 6 years younger than me just had his first-born, life’s harsh realities somehow got into my senses. I’m not getting any younger, and my old friends and contemporaries aren’t with me any longer and are busy with their own lives. So, there’s not much fun anymore. Time really flies so swiftly. It dawned on me that I really have to set my priorities right otherwise I might miss the boat.

    A Christian aunt of mine advised me that I should start looking for that right person to be my lifetime partner, otherwise I would be spending my Valentines’, Christmases’, New Years’ and other holidays by myself with my beard all white and grown. So one day, I announced to my parents, my relatives and friends, what single Christian men say when change of heart happen once it’s their turn — that my bachelor days are nearing its end and that the conquests of Genghis Khan or Christopher Columbus will soon be over,that I am now looking for that “perfect someone”. Naturally, with all being excited, verbal applications, solicited as well as unsolicited, started to pour in from relatives and friends alike.

    So, finally I would tie the knot. I was confronted with a problem then as to whom I shall tie the knot with. Never did I imagine myself to be in this situation. I guess all single Christian men at this stage of their lives encountered the same. I knew then that I have to come up with a strategy. My Christian aunt told me life is really strange with its twists and turns and that I have to be ready when that special someone crosses my path. She taught me how to “fall in love intelligently” and to make a list of all the qualities of the woman I would want to marry and live with for the rest of my life. Further, she said to do it in the order of importance dictated by my priorities. She said you may not find all the qualities you’re looking for but the more checks she’s got, the better are your chances of being happy. Thus, out of good, age-old- fashioned advice and wisdom, I made a list.

    And here’s my list and let me expound on them:

    1) Loyal, Sincere and Honest. This is the very foundation of a successful marriage as in all kinds of relationships. From these qualities emanate other good qualities that make the bonding of love and marriage grow stronger, evolving to matured and lasting relationships. These are definitely on top of my list as sure as the bright skies, I didn’t want lies, betrayals, hurt feelings and eventually a ruined marriage and a broken home thereby affecting our precious, innocent children.

    2) Patient, Understanding and Forgiving. Loving somebody means having to accept the other person the way he or she is – his or her inadequacies and limitations. One who will stand by me whether I succeed or fail in any of our lives’ endeavors – a true test of genuine love. With good advice through kind words I believe all good single Christian men and women heed their mates counsel.

    3) Healthy and Physically Fit. Having to see relatives and friends who got into relationships without taking into account this aspect found themselves later on in deep emotional and financial turmoil. This could end supposedly happy marriages that could have lasted longer and therefore successful, if otherwise considered as a major factor.

    4) Family Acceptance. Having a high regard for one’s family sometimes poses as an issue in choosing a lifetime partner as mingling and socializing with people you love is unavoidable, so we tend to pick our own kind — same level of education, same good traditional family values, same family background — somebody I could respect and be proud of to my family and friends and be the mother of my children. It is painful to love someone who is not acceptable to your family or loved ones especially if you have a close-knit family because it’s hard to live in two separate worlds that you cannot merge and enjoy at the same time.

    5) Same Religious Beliefs. It was a major factor for me but I guess that it is relative to the person. Preferably and not mandatory for others. True Christian spirit lies within our hearts and minds. These thoughts ran through my mind in the light of the spirit of being “true Christian single men and women” whether he or she is a Catholic, Protestant, Buddhist, Muslim, Born Again etc. as long as “Christ or Love” reigns within them, as Love knows no boundaries as it is dynamic and sometimes adventurous.

    6) Good Marriage Outlook. A strong commitment to raise a family knowing that sacrifice and devotion to one’s family is the number one key factor for the attainment of our love ones’ happiness and success. This includes being gainfully employed or having the ability to contribute in the financial support of one’s family’s current and future needs.

    7) Sexual Compatibility and Physical Appearance. This adds spice to the relationship as you don’t want to be with and sleep with somebody you’re not attracted to physically. There has to be physical chemistry that excites, ignites, creates, and inflames or sparks that “magic”. Smelling good, being clean and organized add to one’s “attractiveness” and gives an aura of “enchantment”. Romance, intimacy and eventually sex is a prelude to sharing ones total being — mind, body and soul with your spouse, best friend and lover.

    8) Healthy Attitude in Life. Enthusiastic about life, positive thinker, practical, flexible, helpful, down to earth, good conversationalist with good sense of humor and fun to be with. Somebody who I won’t get bored or tired of listening and talking to, and can live with for the rest of my life.

    9) Goal or Career Oriented. It excites men to meet women who are focused, determined, and has something going on for themselves. It shows their determination and firmness to their life’s aspirations and expectations. Gone are the days when only one bread-winner labors for the whole household expenses as cost of living has gone up high in our economic societies and in all parts of the world. However, amidst life’s trials and hardships, having a strong, determined character and personality is what counts the most.

    10) Free of Vice and of other Worldly Attachments and Material Desires. Realizing that our body is the Temple of God and the mind the spirit within it, I have a high regard for people who respect it, care for it and nourish it. Smoking, drinking, taking drugs, gambling and other earthly desires that corrupt the soul degrades the spirit and flesh in us. Most often than not, vices and earthly desires cause pain and suffering in our lives.

    And sure enough, after thirty years (30) years of marriage, I can truly say, my checklist really worked! We are happy and satisfied with what we have achieved so far as husband and wife, and as parents to single Christian men and women who turned out to be the best of us. Good single Christian men and women who will in turn continue to practice in their lives our Christian values and pass down the love, wisdom, guidance and support we have imparted to them in raising their future children. So, be cautious and arm yourselves with the power of discernment and the test of time, as the world is full of treachery but at the same time of truth and goodness. So, to all eligible single Christian men and women out there searching for that “special someone”, why not make your checklist now so you’ll be ready when the time comes.


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