It takes acknowledgement that one suffers from poor eyesight before a visit to the optician or ophthalmologist is deemed necessary. Inversely, a person can have terrible vision but never care to see a doctor. Isn’t it amazing how two people experiencing the same exact thing can react to that thing in a plethora of ways? I believe this speaks to the intricate nature of the human mind. One man’s meat is another man’s poison.
It’s no different when people experience heartbreak, and I’ll use myself as an interesting example. When I was just 16, I experienced my very first heartbreak when my girlfriend at the time ended our relationship. I’ll spare you the funny details about my ocean of tears after being served “an emotional eviction notice” from a person I thought was the love of my life. Anyway, I cried to church because that’s really and thankfully, all my young mind knew.
While you might laugh at my expense for shedding tears for a girl, honestly speaking, it is okay. I am reminded of a similar story of a much older neighbour whom I usually played football with back in the day. Apparently, the lady he loved so much left him for another man. My neighbour couldn’t take it and soon committed suicide (may his soul rest in peace). This is a more serious case of heartbreak with a drastic ending.
However, wasn’t it the same heartbreak of rejection as mine? What prompted him to take his predicament that far?
Or are we going to say because he was older, he must have invested more in the relationship that was unfathomable to a 16-year-old? I’d argue against such a notion because I could have reacted in ways that would have not only hurt me but my family as well. Thank God I didn’t. I wish perhaps he just went to church to cry as I did.
There is definitely something about heartbreak, not just from relationships but from different human engagements, that really hurts. When it happens, it tends to push people into looking for the easiest way to numb the pain. More often than not, those quick fixes we look for in such vulnerable times are primarily suggestions from the devil. This paradigm is what I see as true because human beings were never meant to gloss over emotions. Our setup is such that we should be present, feel those emotions, take what we can from the lesson learned and move on.
When heartbreak happens, it is because what we expected from a situation, thing, or a person didn’t live up to the billing. Experience is what you get when a thing doesn’t go how you expected it to go. Failure and heartbreak are indeed painful. Yet, in them are life hacks and gems useful for faring better on the journey of life.
So I’ll personally advise that we give ourselves time to grieve and properly heal from a heartbreak. Permit yourself to feel sad or angry whilst praying for clarity. We must also take care of ourselves and be careful with ourselves too. Have a close circle of trusted family and friends who can also try to help with some of your needs at the time. The most important thing about heartbreak is to make sure the lessons were learned, and the mistakes will not be repeated.
Pain helps us learn. Pain is what makes us appreciate joy and happiness. Pain is necessary for growth and change. I will end this article with some words I came across some days ago: “A lot of things broke my heart but fixed my vision.”
For clarity in many situations, pain has to occur and lead to eventual gain. We must not lose ourselves when heartbreak comes. Instead, we ought to seize the opportunity to find and know ourselves better. God is always there. Cry to him like when you find yourself on the sinking ground of heartbreak.
Ogo Adelakun writes on diverse subjects.
