Marriage Duties of the Christian Husband and Wife

By Angie Lewis

Many of you reading this may not know that God designed marriage to work according to the way he created the man and the woman. Each gender has its own marriage duties that when practiced appropriately make the marriage thrive. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3)

What are the marriage duties that scripture is talking about?

Understand that in a Christ-built marriage the husband has responsibilities and the wife has responsibilities, lest the marriage would have no purpose and no direction. When both the husband and the wife are practicing their duties properly it keeps the relationship structured, organized, and spiritually blessed. Everyone is happy, no one is in need of anything, and no one is looking outside the bounds of the marriage for companionship.

“Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord”. (Ephesians 5:22) It is a wife’s duty to submit to her husband. God created a hierarchy in marriage according to how he created men and women. Jesus Christ is head over the husband and husbands are head over the wife in just the same way that Christ is head over the church, his body, of which he is the Savior”. (Ephesians 5:23) This does not mean that man is superior to the woman.

In God’s eyes men and women are equal heirs of His kingdom, and that’s all that matters! In society there is a push and shove mentality that the different sexes exhibit with each other from time to time, but it doesn’t mean a thing! You can’t take this life to heaven with you. Why work so hard proving something that you cannot take to heaven with you? In fact, you will not see heaven if you are so burdened in this life with things of the flesh. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21)

God chose to make Eve out of Adams flesh and bones, which illustrates that in marriage man and woman symbolically become “one flesh”. The goal in marriage should always be of “oneness” between husband and wife. Do you see “oneness” in marriage today? The wife is doing her own thing and the husband is doing his own thing. They each have their own jobs, their own money, their own friends, etc. Are we honoring God with our marriage, or satan? Where is the oneness? Why are we not procuring for ourselves spiritual treasures that we can take to heaven with us?

When a Christian wife rebels against her duty of marriage she is rebelling against God and His plan for her in the marriage, consequently the marriage will have difficulties, much like what we are seeing today. Reality is, if the husband does not fulfill his marital duty to his wife properly she will have a difficult time submitting to her husband. In fact this is where the attitude of feeling like a doormat has been brought into Christian culture.

Wrong attitudes grow like yeast does in bread dough. I would venture to say that ninety percent of the Christian culture has been deceived and they don’t even know it. Women have been deceived into believing that being a wife and mother is not good enough and that she must go to college and have a good career and boss her husband around. After all, most women have been told they are equal to or above men and will not be treated like a doormat. Many of them have the “no man will tell me what to do” attitude!

More and more men are being emasculated by their wives. Consequently men are looking outside of America for suitable marriage spouses so they may find a good woman who will treat him like a man. I know of many such marriages and the wives are treated with love and almost anything their heart desires. Many American women are really missing out on the blessings that come with a healthy Godly marriage.

If one link in the marriage is weak, ultimately the marriage will have no leg to stand on.

Why is it so important that wives honor and submit to their husbands in everything? It is because her husband, being the man that God created him to be has a built in natural instinct to be a protector, provider, and leader. All men have this ability, even those men who believe they were born without it. When a woman usurps her husband’s headship she will be in constant suffering in her marriage because she is trying to row her boat against the nature of the current.

A man needs to be treated like a man for him to be able to properly carry out his God-given calling. It is wrong for any woman to try and undermine the natural instincts of her husband because of a messed up attitude that has evolved from a confused culture-it is not natural for a woman to behave like a man and it is not natural for a man to behave like a woman–it doesn’t matter what century we are living in!

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. (Ephesians 5:25) Husbands are commanded to love their wives-in the same way Christ loved and gave himself up for us. This is why it is so important to understand what real love is. Love is not s superficial feeling of lust and desires like so many think, but principled acts and behaviors that must be acted upon and sometimes sacrificed for.

A husband cannot love his wife properly if he does not put Jesus Christ above himself and utilize the power of the Holy Spirit within him. Now there is a wonderful treasure to store up for yourself in this life. When a husband loves his wife in the ways of the Lord, he is giving up his own life for that of his wife, to make sure her needs are met and taken care of, above his own. A husband must pray about this daily and ask Christ to help him love his wife because there will be days when he may not feel like being very loving.

A man who learns to love his wife in the ways of God will be blessed with much marital happiness. The results will be a wife who respects, honors and loves her husband. Let’s stop all the fussing and fighting and lets start honoring God with our marriage. What one thing can you do today to help bring your marriage back to God? What spiritual treasures can you store up for yourselves in marriage?