Marriage is like a tricycle. One of the back wheels is the mental (emotional) area in marriage, another back wheel is for the physical (sexual), and the front wheel, which is the leader, is for the spiritual aspects of the marriage. If one of these facets of marriage is missing, what is going to happen? The marriage is going to be unbalanced and topple over.
Did you know that your feelings could affect your sexual appetite? For instance, if you’re feeling bitter, resentful, or guilty towards your spouse, you won’t feel like having sex with them. Should we deprive our spouse of sex because of how we are feeling? I don’t think so.
It is not right to deny our spouse the sexual fulfillment that marriage so much needs just because we’re mad at them or we’re having a bad day. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Feelings of bitterness are caused by an unforgiving attitude. Jesus said we are to forgive seventy times seven…forgiving properly means that we don’t harbor the pain anymore, and that means we don’t bring up the issue with our spouse again! Period!
Ladies, we are in control when it comes to the sexual aspects of the marriage. Learn to use that to your advantage. After sex is the best time to discuss any other issues that are bothering you. Be nice, and express yourself lovingly and appropriately. Don’t nag and complain.
Many couples don’t discuss their sexual preferences with each other. But this is not the time to be shy either. It’s very vital to the sexual health of the marriage that couples express their pleasures in the bedroom arena. Both need to know and be acquainted with the zones and parts of the body, which are capable of producing pleasurable sensations.
Below are a few guidelines to take note of for a great sensual and passionate marriage, even after ten, and twenty years of marriage!
- Allow spouses the freedom to be who they are. Be understanding and considerate of their feelings at all times, not just in the bedroom.
- Communicate any sexual issues and problems that have developed in the marriage. Let go of your sexual inhibitions and express your pleasures in the lovemaking arena. Ladies, men like to give pleasure to their wives, so now is your chance to speak up and tell him what you like.
- Thank God every day that you are married to a person who is willing to discuss and express these issues with you.
- Always be loving and available. Sometimes we women just aren’t in the mood. But it doesn’t matter; give yourself to your husband anyway, unless you are sick or going through menstruation.
- Create an appealing bedroom that you both like. Redecorate it with tasteful decor that you both have picked out.
- Make yourself attractive and pleasing to each other. Buy a new skimpy nightgown, and men buy some bikini briefs. If you already wear that kind of underclothing, buy some silky cartoon boxers – something different that you wouldn’t normally wear.
- Be romantic and loving. Light some aromatic candles for a sensual and romantic atmosphere.
This is for the ladies reading this. I have learned through experience that men NEED to have sex. Some men like it every day, others every other day, while others maybe two times a week. Be ready when your husband wants to have sex. Don’t reject your husband for just any reason; make him feel loved and good about himself. Men love this kind of sensual pampering.
When we reject our husband, that is when they begin THINKING about looking elsewhere to find fulfillment, and we don’t want that, do we ladies? So often we take our husband for granted in this area, and don’t realize the importance of sexual fulfillment for the man in our life. Don’t give him any reasons to look elsewhere, take care of him!
This is for the men reading this. The most important thing you can do for your wife is to not rush into the lovemaking act in 30 seconds. Come on now, be more considerate. You know it takes your wife a bit longer than you. Tell her how much you love her, and rub her all over, wherever she likes it. Be more patient in the bedroom, your time will come soon enough.
The bottom line is, do not deprive or reject each other! A happy sexual relationship involves the right attitudes. It is God’s will that married couples enjoy sexual relations with each other. Find out what wheel is missing in your marriage and fix it.
“The wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by MUTUAL consent and for A TIME, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not TEMPT you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:4-6
Questions For Couples
1. Would you consider your sex life to be satisfied? Why or why not? Explain.
2. What areas can you work on that would help the lovemaking department?
3. Do you think rejecting your spouse of sex is going to help you and your spouse become close and intimate? Explain
4. How is your attitude about sex? Good? Mediocre? Not good? Explain.
If you and your spouse are having sexual problems it is because something else is amiss in the marriage. Communicate and find out what that area is. Sometimes when we stop doing fun things together or when we stop having alone time it causes our attitude toward sex to falter too.
5. What do you think causes emotional infidelity in marriage?