Christian marriages are to be different than the unbeliever’s marriage because a follower of Christ becomes sanctified (set apart) through the word for God’s purpose. (John 17:17) When a Christian obediently follows the principles of Christ it has a purifying effect on the heart and mind. Are you letting the word of God cleanse you and your marriage? This is how a Christian husband should love his wife.
A Christian Husband Should Have Self-Control
If a husband cannot keep himself from looking, touching, or bedding another woman other than his wife then he most likely is doing something wrong in his walk with Jesus. It seems that his relationship with God is faltering somewhere. The attitude of lust and desire outside the bounds of marriage always hurts everyone involved. Why put yourself and your family through such pain?
If a Christian husband is having difficulties with ridding himself of wrong desires then he needs to pray about it and ask that God help Him to turn away from immoral desires and to only have eyes for his wife. Scripture lets us know that only those people who truly belong to Jesus and who have denied self have given up their sinful nature with their passions and desires – (Galatians 5:24)
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age. (Titus 2:11-12)
A Christian Husband Should be Considerate of His Wife
“Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives.” (1 Peter 3:7)
This means a Christian husband must be understanding, caring and selfless, putting his wife’s well-being above his own. Understand that this is the way God wants a husband to love his wife. Scripture dictates that the only way a husband would be able to put his wife before himself is to have the right relationship with Jesus Christ.
Treat Her With Respect as the Weaker Partner (vessel)
And treat her with respect as the weaker partner and as heir with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:8)
“Weaker partner” does not mean moral or intellectual ability but physically weaker. As we all know women are more vulnerable to criminal and sexual abuse and a husband should be protecting her in that regard. In what ways can you protect your wife from these kinds of abuses? Husbands should respect the fact that their wives are physically weaker and protect them from all outside influences.
If your wife rebels against this protection then explain to her, with scripture in hand, that it is your Christian duty to protect her from mistreatment in the world. Let her know that this is one way in which you show your love for her. No woman in her right mind would resist such love and spiritual understanding.
In Ephesians 5:26 husbands are to wash their wives with the word, cleansing her and making her holy. Show your wife spiritual wisdom and discernment through your love for her. This is what being “head of the wife” means. The husband first must be a man of God before he can cleanse his wife with the word.
Continue to be wise in the Lord and wash your wife with the word, making her holy as Christ’s church. Christ’s death sanctified and cleanses the church and it is God’s word that cleanses us. (John 17:17)
“…So that nothing will hinder your prayers”. (1 Peter 3:8)
Have you ever wondered why your prayers never seem to get answered? Do you pray and pray and nothing changes? It could mean that you are hindering your prayers because your relationship is not right with God. If a husband is not considerate and respectful of his wife, perhaps his prayers will be hindered. I mean this is what scripture says, plain and simple.
Matthew 5:23-24 lets us know that if you have a problem with a fellow believer (spouse), you are to resolve the problem BEFORE coming together in prayer. God is not going to resolve your problems with your wife for you. You need to resolve your problems with your wife first and then go to God with your prayers.
The bottom line is if a husband uses his headship position as a means to mistreat his wife, then his relationship with God will suffer and consequently, his prayers will go unanswered. Our attitude towards others reflects our relationship with Christ.
(1 John 4:20).
Angie Lewis is the author of six self-help inspirational books offering valuable, proven marriage tips and advice. If your marriage and health are important, you must check out Angie’s books and websites!