What Is The True Meaning Of Love? A Tale of Love, Loss, and Unspoken Emotions

Many times, I find myself wondering about the true meaning of love. Does love keep no record of wrongs, even when you’re constantly burdened by emotional pain and disrespect? Is love unconditional selflessness, urging us to forgive seventy times seven, even when deeply wounded? Is love at first sight real, or does love grow over time through friendship and shared experiences? And finally, is it true that love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener?

The Reality of Love and Marriage

Many married couples might have an answer to that last question. Countless women and men admit to a rude awakening after tying the knot, realizing that marriage is far more challenging than they had imagined. The honeymoon phase feels like a bed of roses, but soon reality sets in, revealing a life of hard work, compromise, and sometimes heartache. Yet, despite the struggles, love remains the glue that holds husbands and wives together through the vow of “for better or for worse.”

A Love Story: My Parents’ Journey

My parents’ love story began in their teenage years. Even with opposite personalities, they were determined to build a life together. When their families disapproved of their relationship, they eloped, seeking a fresh start in another state. My mother was in her late twenties, and my father in his early thirties when they finally got married.

By the time my mother was pregnant with me, they had moved back to their families. Two siblings later, they seemed content pursuing their careers while raising us. I still remember how my dad, a veterinary surgeon, would take my siblings and me to the animal clinic, where we marveled at the animals he cared for.

But as time passed, their marriage suffered from growing conflicts. External pressures, demanding careers, and perhaps factors I was too young to understand created small cracks that eventually became irreparable rifts. When my father received a dream job offer in another state, he was eager to seize the opportunity. My mother, however, did not think relocating at the time was a good idea. Despite her protests, he left and that decision planted the initial seed of separation.

At first, my father visited on weekends, but over time, the distance grew until they both accepted that their marriage was over.

Love And Loss: Beyond Divorce

Despite their separation, my parents remained friends. My mother always emphasized the importance of kindness, especially for the sake of the kids. She never spoke ill of my father, and he never spoke ill of her.

Years later, when my mother’s diplomatic career took her to Rome, Italy, my father became a frequent guest in our home. To us, they seemed like companions bound by history rather than love. They laughed together, reminiscing about old times, sharing inside jokes, and exchanging memories of their youth.

It appeared their once-upon-a-time love had drifted away with time, replaced by a comfortable camaraderie – or so we thought.

Then, on October 20, 1995, death came knocking with its cold hands and my darling father passed away unexpectedly. The news hit us all hard, but my mother’s reaction was the most shocking. She collapsed in grief, and from that moment, she was never quite the same. A part of her seemed to have died with him.

The Ever-Evolving Mystery And True Meaning Of Love

Love is a concept that defies a single definition. It is more like a coin with two different sides. It is sacrificial yet selfish, forgiving yet delicate, intoxicating yet exciting. It binds people together in passion, friendship, and commitment, yet it can also bring heartbreak and longing.

My mother’s story taught me that love doesn’t always disappear just because a relationship ends. Sometimes, pride, circumstances, or life’s unexpected turns keep two hearts apart even when love still lingers in utter silence.

So, is love truly blind, or is marriage the eye opener? Is it an instant spark, or does it take years to grow? Does love really hold no record of wrongs, or does it sometimes suffer quietly under the weight of unspoken pain?

Who knows, maybe love is all these things at once – a paradox, an ever-evolving journey, one that each of us must navigate in our own way.

What does love mean to you?

May Oyairo is the Founder and Publisher of MannaXPRESS.