These days, the institution of marriage often appears fraught with turmoil. People get married and, just a few weeks later, announce to the world that their marriage has ended. Many believe that people spend more time preparing for their wedding than they do for the actual marriage.
This lack of preparedness has led to a soaring divorce rate. According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. The rate is even higher for second marriages, with about 60-67% ending in divorce.
This trend is contrary to God’s design for marriage. In Genesis 2:18, it states that it is not good for man to be alone. Additionally, Genesis 2:24 (KJV) says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” The essence of marriage was for couples to be together and assist in procreation.
However, recent developments suggest that the purpose of marriage has taken a back seat as the rate of divorce is becoming more common. This raises important questions: How did the couple fall in love in the first place, and how do they know they are meant to be together?
There is no definitive answer to these questions, as life is not a mathematical equation where x + y provides a perfect solution. However, some signs can indicate you are with the right person. It is important to note that these signs may not work for everyone, and your partner does not need to possess all these traits. Nonetheless, the following signs can serve as a guide or litmus test in determining if you can say “forever I do” to your partner, assuming marriage is your goal.
Having aligned values with your prospective partner is crucial. Values such as family, health, and spirituality should at least be compatible. While it’s not necessary to agree on every subject, misalignment of core values can be a red flag. Alignment means wanting similar things, such as having children, agreeing on the number of children, and sharing childcare responsibilities equally.
Presence of Healthy Conflicts
Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. “We agree to disagree” is a healthy approach. However, conflicts should not be toxic. Partners must handle their disagreements maturely and constructively.
Sexual Chemistry
The right sexual chemistry and good sex are necessary for a long-term relationship. Maintaining a strong sexual connection helps sustain the relationship over time.
Kindness and Generosity
Your partner should treat you with kindness and generosity, as these are the foundations of a healthy relationship. A partner who is not generous or kind towards you is unlikely to prioritize your needs, making them unsuitable for a lifelong commitment like marriage.
Openness and Honesty
A great sign of compatibility is being open and honest with each other. There should be no need or intention to hide anything. If prospective partners start hiding things from each other, it signals a lack of compatibility. As the English essayist and poet Rudyard Kipling once said, “There is no need to continue.”
This list is by no means exhaustive. Marriage is a long-term commitment, and couples should be cautious before taking sacred vows. Rushing into marriage without due diligence can lead to rushing out of it just as quickly.
Love, they say, is blind, but lovers cannot afford to be.
