Sex between two married people is a very beautiful aspect of marriage. God has blessed us with the ability to give and receive physical pleasure with the one we are married to. But when we give ourselves to another before marriage, sex becomes something else altogether.
1) Lust and Fornication Are Sins
Why do you think God made fornication a sin? I mean, on the outside it seems like a lot of fun to have sex and flirt with feelings of lust. No one is really hurting anyone, right? Wrong! Sex before marriage always hurts someone, and for many reasons which we will get into. God’s desire is for single people, young and old to remain sexually and emotionally pure for marriage. When young couples go into marriage with such purity and anticipation for one another, the marriage thrives.
2) Virginity is a Precious Gift to Bring to Your Spouse
What a precious gift of love and purity to share yourself only with the one you married. It creates the “one flesh” of marriage even more beautiful and sacred. But perhaps some of you reading this have erred and are not a virgin anymore. Let me tell you, it’s ok. God still loves you and wants you to have a blessed marriage.
Ask for forgiveness and turn away from the “attitude of going out on a date” and God will forgive you. Flee from temptation and stop dating because 95% of the time dating leads to sex. Having like-minded friendships in the Lord is much better than dating. Don’t give your heart away! Your emotional and spiritual self is a precious commodity-save it for your spouse, and you will be so very happy that you did.
3) The Risk of Pregnancy
Children are precious, beautiful people of God, and everyone needs to experience being a parent at some time in their life. But God does not want us to concern ourselves with the responsibilities of children until we are ready and capable of caring for their needs properly.
Bringing children into the world out of wedlock is not fair to the child or to you. Terminating an unborn child is not fair to them either. It is always best and God’s ideal for single women to not have children and to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Then, when you both are ready to have a child, financially, emotionally, and spiritually, God will bless you with children.
4) Multiple Heartaches From Dating
Sexual intimacy bonds two hearts together in such a way that they become emotionally attached to one another and feelings of desire is confused with love. Most dating relationships are not based on love, but on the desired aspect of the relationship. Dating does not lead up to a healthy marriage. Dating leads up to heartbreak because eventually, one party will want out of the relationship. Heartbreak after heartache develops a cold, callous heart. It also can develop other negative emotions such as jealousy, suspicion, and mistrust because this too is part of the dating scene. Dating has too many negative emotions attached to it. It is God’s desire that single people have friendships with the Lord and do not date.
5) Virginity is Cool
I don’t care what anyone says, virginity is cool! A woman who can remain a virgin until marriage in this day and age is a courageous and Godly woman, and I commend her on her ability to turn away from what the crowds are doing. Losing your virginity before marriage is not cool. Ask any older woman with values, who has been there and done that already, and she will tell you to wait until you are married too. That’s because we know that when a young person wants to have sex before marriage, it’s only feelings of desire talking-there is no love there.
As Christian people, we need to be more concerned with what God wants us to do, not what our friends are doing, or what anyone asks us to do. If it does not come from Jesus Christ or Christ’s principles then it should not be a part of our Christian life and shouldn’t be done.
6) Sexual Purity is God’s Plan For You
God wants Christians, young and old to stay pure for marriage. It’s His plan! When a Christian person disobeys God’s calling for them, there are always consequences. These consequences may be emotional attachments that break our hearts, unwanted pregnancies, or venereal disease. God does not make these bad things happen to us. We make these bad things happen to us because of the choices we make in our life. Let’s choose what God wants. Let’s pray about it and seek God’s will for our life always and forever.
7) Fornication is NOT Healthy
Most of the time in an intimate relationship, young people don’t even really know the person they are having sex with. The only thing intimate about the relationship is the sex aspect of it. Did you meet their parents? Do you know what they do in their spare time? Perhaps they have a venereal disease or worse, HIV or AIDS. Physically speaking, casual sex is very dangerous. These relationships can cause many kinds of infections and other health ailments. Emotionally speaking, these relationships cause a defensive, calloused heart and teach young people to base love on feelings rather than on something they do.
Single Christian people should wait on God. They should have all the friendships they want based on the foundation of respect and brotherly and sisterly love. The best married spouses are with those who first respected you physically, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. Remember, the minute your emotions take over and rule the relationship, the minute you will stop feeling respect and real love for one another. God wants our emotions to follow our lead, not lead our lives.
Angie and her husband counsel, advise and encourage couples who are preparing for marriage and who are married.