6 Steps on surviving an affair in your marriage

    cheating spouseBy Denise Dilmore

    [dropcap]Y[/dropcap]ou are devastated that your husband or wife has had an affair with someone else and you are wondering how to survive the affair and rebuild your relationship? There are negative feelings of mistrust and anger when facing this situation and yet, if there is any love or loving feelings remaining, there may be an urge to restore the faith in the relationship and get your marriage back on track.

    Once you have decided the next course of action, the next question on your mind must be ‘how to survive this affair’ so that your marriage can get back on solid ground again.

    Here are 6 steps that can help you survive your spouse’s affair and ensure that you escape unscathed from this ordeal.

      1. No two individuals or relationships are the same so you need to find your own way to deal with this ordeal. Talking to friends and leaning on family members will help you get by in this difficult time but ultimately you have to make the tough decision of whether to stay in the relationship or put an end to it.
      2. Do not expect too much from yourself. You need to keep reminding yourself that it is not your fault and stay positive. Giving yourself adequate time and space will help you come to terms with the situation and find the strength to deal with it.
      3. If you are under a lot of stress and cannot figure out how to survive the affair, talk to a therapist, pastor or marriage counselor about it. Counseling, whether it be online help, therapy or resources from your local library can help you find your path and relieve you of your pain.
      4. Talk to your husband about how you feel and how to survive the affair. In many cases, spouses are very remorseful about what has happened and want to make it work. Keeping an open communication will help you both build a strong base in the relationship.
      5. Evaluate your feelings for your husband. If you still love your husband after what happened then it is evident that you might want to put in the time to heal the relationship. Talk to your husband about the details of the affair and try to find the reason for the affair. Not only is it important to rebuild the faith in the marriage but it is also important to make sure that the same mistakes are not repeated again.
      6. Do not trust your husband blindly. Your husband should also make the extra effort to win your trust. Let him know that you will need some time before you start trusting him again.


    How to survive the affair is a question that has no standard answer; couples need to find their own paths to re-instill the love and trust back into the relationship. More and more couples are choosing to heal and rebuild their marriage rather than file for divorce. The process of rebuilding a solid marriage foundation after an affair can be a positive experience if both you and your husband are committed to making it work!

    Keep in mind, reading articles and searching for answers to your happiness is only the first step. Taking action on what you have come to learn is what will ultimately save your marriage. I hope these 6 steps On How To Survive The Affair And Ensure That You Escape Unscathed are helpful and will help you begin your journey toward healing yourself and your marriage.

    Don’t let an affair destroy your life.  You have nothing to lose and your happiness and marriage to gain. Your life and marriage are worth saving.

    Denise Gilmore is an editor and writer on marriage and relationship articles.

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