By Isaac Nunoofio
Living with a depressed wife can make a marriage feel like living in hell. Her condition may make her unresponsive to your romantic advances and the need to be left alone. Furthermore, she may not feel like talking to you and before you know it, your relationship suffers a great deal.
If your wife is depressed, there are some steps you can take to help you deal with the situation. These include:
1. Find Out What Is Happening
Most people who are depressed do not feel comfortable to open up to others because they fear they will be judged or ridiculed when they express their feelings and when they reveal their thoughts. However, you have to try to get her to open up to you because depression is one of the leading risks for suicide.
So, have a date at home with her one evening, or take her to her favorite restaurant, put your arms around her, reassure her of your love for her, and coax her to tell you why she is feeling so sad, whether she is thinking of killing herself, what you are doing or not doing that makes her feel miserable, and what she thinks you can do to make her feel better.
2. Speak Words Of Encouragement to her
Sometimes all that a depressed wife needs to help lift her spirit are words of love and encouragement from her husband.
So grab her hands once in a while, smile at her, look deep into her eyes, tell her she is a beautiful woman. Say something such as this to her, “Darling, you are looking exquisitely immaculate! You are still the most beautiful woman on earth! I still love you and I will continue to love you forever! Honey, you have been a tower of strength and a great support to me and I want to say I thank you for all your help. Sweetheart, things will be fine! Trust me! There is hope for the future, okay? Better days will come. You are full of life. Enjoy that life! Enjoy the birds singing, the sun shining, the trees dancing in the breeze, the love of our friends, God’s love and avoid living in your head. You are a beautiful soul. Let others continue to enjoy your inner beauty. You have so much to give to the world. Please don’t shut yourself in.”
3. Encourage Her To Reminisce
A study published by the US National Library of Medicine suggests that helping someone to reminisce can help that person to deal with depression.
Reminiscing stimulates the brain and makes it boost its production of feel good hormones such as serotonin an dopamine and the effect of these hormones make one feel happy and hopeful.
So, regularly, let’s say once a week, sit down in your sitting room with your wife, affirm your love for her, give her a loving kiss, and together recount the happy events that have occurred in your marriage, such as the day you first met, how beautiful she was looking, the buildup to your wedding day, the positive feelings in your body on your wedding day, the pleasure you enjoyed during your honeymoon, the joy you experienced on the day your first child was born, splendid vacations you have enjoyed, great meals she has cooked for you to enjoy, how great a wife and mother she is and things like that. The good memories will help her to feel good again and she will find it easier to enjoy the present.
4. Help Your Wife To Focus On Her Strengths And Not Her Weaknesses
Hormonal imbalances and negative thought patterns most often make depressed wives think that they are useless, worthless, bad wives, bad mothers, and terrible human beings.
However, when you remind your wife often that she has strengths, when you remind her of the wonderful things she has done for you and for others and that she has been a great woman before and she can be a great woman again, it will help her to start questioning her negative thoughts.
Questioning her thoughts will make her see that she is not that worthless and that will make it easier for her to shift her mental perspective and see that she has some great qualities. Consequently, she will experience a self-esteem boost.
5. Pray For Her
There is nothing as powerful as praying for your spouse. Praying over your wife is a spiritual means of rolling obstacles from away from her. Speak and share scriptural verses pertaining to her current state of mind. The following are great promises of God for us you can share with her:
Deuteronomy 31:8 “… It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Psalms 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.
Psalms 42:11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
If your wife is depressed, pour words of comfort into her soul, make her reminisce often, and remind her that there are some valuable things in her, keep praying for her constantly and by the grace of God, all will be well.
Isaac Nunoofio is a Freelance writer, Blogger, and indie author with 10 published eBooks to his credit.