When I was pregnant with my only child, I went to a physician’s group that made sure we met every doctor and physician’s assistant before delivery.
During one appointment early on in my pregnancy, I met a female physician’s assistant who asked me if I knew what I was having. When I replied “A boy”, she gave me a nasty look and said, “Oh, one of THOSE”.
I was so stunned I was actually speechless, and my happy and excited vibe was instantly extinguished.
That physician’s assistant was not just a negative person, she was toxic! She didn’t just speak and think negatively, she was in a toxic emotional state that was out to deliberately hurt or put me down.
Or was it deliberate?
Are they blissfully unaware of their negative impact on our lives, or do they derive satisfaction in how they make us feel, and the pain or stress they add to our lives?
I guess we can never truly know the answer to that question unless the person confesses their intention.
So let’s not spend our time trying to figure out their intention, instead, let’s examine their behavior so we know how to identify any toxic influences in our lives.
Here are 10 indicators to help you recognize that someone is a toxic person:
- Controlling – they are excessively controlling in a manipulative way, and expect others to do things their way.
- Jealous – they aren’t happy for other’s accomplishments and don’t think it’s fair when someone else is celebrated or promoted.
- Victims – they are always expecting you to help them, but they don’t help you. They love to blame shift – it’s never their fault, but someone else’s, and everyone is out to get them. Life is always unfair to them.
- Gossip – they have no respect for others and love to gossip – If they gossip with you, you know they gossip about you too.
- Liars – you frequently catch them in lies, even little white lies, and don’t trust them.
- Greedy – they only help or do things if they gain something.
- Negative – they excessively talk about negative things, and complain as though nothing is good enough for them. They are judgmental and suspicious of others.
- Arrogant/Belittling – they talk and act like they are the only intelligent person they know, and everyone around them is stupid.
- Right – they think everyone else is wrong and they are always right. They never admit when they are wrong.
10. Selfish – they don’t have time for you or aren’t really concerned for your well-being.
Knowing how to identify the behaviors of a toxic person is the first step in eliminating negative and unhealthy influences in your life.
Think about the people who affect your life the most, and make sure they aren’t toxic.
Don’t forget to check your behavior too, and determine whether or not you are a toxic influence in the lives of the people around you.
Jeanne Ewen is an entrepreneur, creator, and publisher of the free inbox magazine EvolvingWomenOnly.com for any woman on a self-improvement journey, or who just wants to gradually improve their life in some way.