By Dan O. Williams
Premarital sex is universally known as two people having sex before marriage. In the past, premarital sex is considered as forbidden and doing so will lead to a heavy retribution. Now as society evolves, values and mind-sets develop and our degenerating society is slowly embracing premarital sex as a common thing in relationships. This had led to ambivalent responses from the society as well as religions. The significant question is has our society embraced premarital sex? Does the youth of our society know the effects of premarital sex?
Waiting until you’re married to engage in sexual activity isn’t just some antiquated ideal. It can be advantageous to both partners and the relationship itself. Likewise, engaging in sexual activity before being married can also affect a relationship in myriad ways. Premarital sex can affect how a couple relates to each other, change the dynamics of the relationship and even have physical effects, a child could be brought into the equation and of course most importantly, the salvation of the souls involved.
‘Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will put an end to them together. But the body is not for the desires of the flesh, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body: And God who made the Lord Jesus come back from the dead will do the same for us by his power. Do you not see that your bodies are part of the body of Christ? How then may I take what is a part of the body of Christ and make it a part of the body of a loose woman? Such a thing may not be. Or do you not see that he who is joined to a loose woman is one body with her? For God has said, the two of them will become one flesh. But he who is united to the Lord is one spirit. Keep away from the desires of the flesh. Every sin which a man does is outside of the body; but he who goes after the desires of the flesh does evil to his body. Or are you not conscious that your body is a house for the Holy Spirit which is in you, and which has been given to you by God? And you are not the owners of yourselves; for a payment has been made for you: let God be honoured in your body.’
1 Corinthians 6:13-20
‘But fornication and every kind of impurity, or covetousness, let them not even be mentioned among you, for they ought not to be named among God’s people.’
Effects of Premarital sex
1. If you plant premarital sex, you reap extra marital sex as the harvest. Surveys have revealed that people who have indulged in premarital sex are more promiscuous or more susceptible to extra marital sex and affairs while married. Gen.8:22.
2. It opens the door for demonic spirits to wreak havoc in the relationship. Remember, sex is as spiritual as it is physical. 1 Corinthians 6:16.
3. It will turn off God’s supply of favour from reaching you. As Christians we know that God frown at it. The Bible in 1 Corinthians 6:18 says; ‘Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that commits fornication sins against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God and ye are not your own?’
4. Your conscience will be wounded and you will be tormented by the thought of such acts of disobedience. Sexually transmitted diseases are often passed when couples have had multiple sexual partners. Although premarital sex doesn’t necessarily mean the couple have had multiple sexual partners, the chances are greater than if a couple vows to abstain until marriage
5. It blinds you from seeing the flaws and negative attitudes of your partner. You may be constrained to manage the relationship that may lead to a bad marriage because of the temporary pleasure of sex.
6. You lose the respect of your partner and your focus gets blurred. Sex creates a bond between sex partners that can easily be violated if the commitment isn’t strong enough to sustain it. Marriage creates a lifelong commitment and can support the bond a sexual relationship creates. It is very difficult for couples engaged in premarital sex to ensure that their sexual relationship create a lasting bond
7. It erodes the trust you have for each other. As a result suspicion comes up, and there is room for severe jealousy even when nothing is happening.
8. Premarital sex replaces intimacy. This might end up in heartbreak if you lost interest. A married couple could also be more likely to experience problems if one or both partners had been sexually active before marriage. Couples with multiple past sexual partners may find themselves comparing their marital sex life to their premarital sex life, often leading to dissatisfaction.
9. Couples who cohabit or engage in premarital sex before marriage are at greater risk of divorce and report a lower level of dedication to the relationship, which increases the risk of a single-parent household if a child is involved. You open yourself up to shame and regrets if it leads to pregnancy. If you try to cover up by committing abortion, you become guilty of murder that is if you survive it.
10. It will also lead to bad reputation. Usually if adolescents commit premarital sex, this secret would be confined between the couple themselves. Many times this act is hard to be kept as a secret as the man tend to brag amongst their friends thus leading to rumours. The girl’s reputation is at stake as she will be gossiped and judged by her own peers.
Based on the information imparted above it can be deduced that Premarital sex adds nothing to your courtship. It only introduces disaffection. If you have already engaged in premarital sex, you should make a commitment with God, your boyfriend or girlfriend, and yourself to remain sexually pure from this point on until marriage.
Ask God for help and strength to remain sexually pure until marriage. God will provide the strength and grace to overcome the temptation to have sex, as long as you are willing and careful not to put yourself in a place of temptation. Philippians 4:13
I Corinthians 10:13 declares, “No temptation has you in its power but such as is common to human nature; and God is faithful and will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. But, when the temptation comes, He will also provide the way of escape; so that you may be able to bear it.” It is possible to fight sexual temptation and win the battle.
Also, it is important to remember that God can and does forgive the sin of premarital sex. When a person places his or her faith in the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation, desiring to turn away from the old life of sin, all sins are forgiven. Jesus died to pay the penalty for all of our sins, including premarital sex. Once they are forgiven, they are all forgiven.
Colossians 1:13-14 says, “Who halt delivered us from the power of darkness, and halt translated us into the kingdom of his dear son. In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sin:” What we are to do is confess our sins. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Pray this prayer
“Lord Jesus, I am a sinner, save me from sins, I promised not to commit the sin of premarital sex any more. Give me the grace Lord to live for you and you only I pray oh Lord in Jesus name. Amen.
Congratulations God sees your commitment and will give you the grace to live above every temptation. In Jesus mighty name.
Dan. O. Williams has been life Coach for over a decade mentoring so many young & old people while helping them to maximize their relationship.